updates

23 June 2006, Changi S'pore.

Long haul flights are EVIL.

Singaporeans. *sigh* A backpacker motel in NZ with great view and customer service costs about NZ15. A transit hotel in Changi Airport with common shower facility and horrible customer service (unless you're a Caucasian) costs $125 per night.

I hate myself a little for saying this, but I like NZ so much more compared to Singapore and Malaysia. Sure, there will be racism, cold winter days and expensive prices in NZ.

Looking at the other side of things, racism only exists in 0.001% of the population (usually drunkards) while most of them who don't share the same skin colour treat you even better and are friendlier than those who share the same surname as you.

As for winter, cold weather doesn't seem that bad when you can shop and wear cool winter jackets you wouldn't get caught dead wearing in Malaysia. As far as I know, heaters are man's greatest invention. Cool friends and hot chocolate also help you get by those cold nights. Also, without winter, summer wouldn't be appreciated as much. No winter, no spring (the best season of all)!

Sure, things might be a tad bit expensive there. But a student with no degree can earn an average of $10.00 per hour, so do your maths. That's why I'm planning to stay there over the summer and earn some money.

But perhaps the main reason I chose to study there was because of the freedom it offered. People never judge you irrationally, you can basically walk the streets of Dunedin wearing pajamas or diapers and people will just look at you once and walk on.

I love how the city is just a 10 minute walk from where I live, and that I can just take a walk/jog/run around a park or the botanical gardens minutes away any time of the day, any day of the week. I love how people seem to mind more of their own business yet care so much for a stranger or friend during the right moment. I love how you can just start chatting to any stranger on the street and end up talking to that person for hours without judging or being judged. I love that there are over 10 nationalities in my church, and how I can hug and be hugged anytime without getting a weird look. Above all, I just love how somehow everything seemed much more simpler, out in the open, and sincere.

I don't care what some people say about "unpatriotic" people who leave their home country to live in another country because of the better pay or future. Don't make a judgement when you don't even know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes.

I'm not saying that I'm going to live in NZ permanently yet, but recent events had certainly made me think a lot about the future that I want to choose for myself.

***

25 June 2006, HOME (Kch)

Home at last.

Reached Kuching aroud 3pm, got my new sim card, and went straight to church for music practice. Syokkk. After that, went yumcha with Deb, Agfa, and Stef at aha! I thought I heard wrongly when the girls say they wanna go to a place called aha!, but oh well, there's even another new cafe called bla bla bla. -.-''' What happened after that was so typical of us four. We decided to head home early (at around 11pm), but when we got to the car, Deb realised that she'd left the headlights on. *slaps forehead* After countless attempts to revive the engine, Deb managed to drag her dad who was watching the Germany vs Sweden match there to help us. Eventually we got home half past midnite. Totally embarrassing yet memorable. hehe!

It's good to be back at SFEC, but I loathe church politics. Can't we all just get along, forgive and forget?! Anyway, youth meeting was replaced by a hip hop dance lesson given by John aka bunny. Totally hilarious and refreshing, but had to leave early to attend a farewell lunch for Agnes who's leaving for KL this Friday. Seems like everyone's leaving sooner or later. Meh.

Speaking of which, I'll be in KL for the next 3 days shopping! =)

Delayed departure

I should be on a plane to Singapore now. But no, I'm now stuck in an Auckland airport hotel, flying to Singapore tomorrow morning, therefore only reaching Kuching on Saturday afternoon.

Quite a bit of unfortunate events had happened lately. My laptop crashed last night, I got less than 2 hours of sleep, my airport shuttle was 40 minutes late, the flight from Dunedin to Auckland had to be delayed from 6.50am to almost 11.00am due to the icy runways, my connecting flight to Singapore had to be rescheduled to tomorrow morning, I am EXHAUSTED.

Yeap icy runways. This has to be the coldest winter yet. Only a few weeks into winter and the temperature this morning dropped to about -10 degrees. Ice covered the runways, the Dunedin airport had to close, and many flights were cancelled or delayed. That created much havoc and frustration at not only the airport, but on the roads as well. The icy roads caused many accidents all throughout Dunedin. Odd thing from all of this was: Still no snow. Weird weather indeed.

Anyway, Air New Zealand was kind enough to provide me free accommodation at a fancy hotel and free rides to and fro to the airport. Food is gooooood. I was expecting a single bedroom, but opened the door to find two beds, a queen and single bed. Muahahaha.

Till then, can't wait to get back to Kuching where warmth is always around.

Psychoagnosia

Ahh the syokness of finishing the last exam. =)

Psychology was so much harder than I expected. 125 multiple choice questions in 3 hours seemed easy before I stepped into the examination room, but every time I flipped a page, my mind thought of another "SHIT". Once I panicked, I totally messed up ventral simultagnosia, dorsal simultagnosia, associative agnosia, apperceptive agnosia, aphasia, apraxia yadda yaddi yadda those technical terms.

Anyway, glad that I won't have to study psychology anymore. Fun and insightful subject by the way. Some people think it's weird that I take up "interest subjects" like psyc111 this semester and musc110 paper next semester, but it's fun mah! heh.

Played Monopoly wif Rebec, Willy and Mr. Chinaman a while ago. haha! Mr. Chinaman went bankrupt, Mr. Indonesia won the match! teehee. I totally forgot how funny it is to play that game, especially with the right people.

Had a lot of free time lately, and so I spent it renovating my laptop desktop. No more geeky taskbar, no more icons, only a pretty objectdock and a few stylish yahoo widgets! =) More songs to download too. Present collection excluding cds and more at home: 3.2Gb. Very de wu liao, I know lah.

My current desktop. Changes very frequently.

Countdown to Kooochiang: Less than 3 days *big grin*

Anticipating

7 days to Kuching! =)

It's beginning to feel more and more like holidays now, though I still have another paper to go on Tuesday. Shucks. About a third of those in the halls have already went back to their hometowns by now. Envy envy. Those that are staying behind continue doing what they're best at- getting drunk, getting drunk, and getting drunk.

Still no snow yet. It better don't snow when I'm back in Malaysia, or else.

World Cup and late night studying is turning me into a nocturnal person. Woke up at 3.45am yesterday morning to catch the England vs Trinidad and Tobago match. Ah the syokness. A black friend of mine danced around when T&T finally scored a goal, and few seconds later when he found out that it was disallowed: "F the referee! F the referee!" Teehee. However, I spent most of the 90 minutes screaming at the sluggish England strikers, namely Stupid Crouch and Lousy Lampard. Teamwork virtually equals zero; England was lucky to get away with a 2-0 win.

Luckily retail therapy cheered me up. Mum called yesterday to confirm our flights to KL for shopping! The air tickets didn't come cheap, but I love her even more that she's willing to sacrifice her time to go shopping with me. Hehe. Might meet up with friends studying in KL if there's extra time for yum cha.

Second convo with ex.

"You have a parcel."
"Huh?"
"...You have a PARCEL waiting for you."
"Oh. Erm. Oh. Err. Thanks. "

Weird. I can check out the notice by myself anyway. And my friends would have told me that too. Definitely weird. Right?

Letting go

This time, I really am letting go. It's been almost 3 weeks since the break up, and yet only until just now had I really let it go. Thanks to a friend who told me exactly what I wanted and needed to hear. Thanks above all to God for giving me the sign that I asked for whether or not he is worth another try. So I guess the final verdict is in: There's just no use crying over spilt milk anymore.

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

Nothing is ever going to change the fact that he changed my live forever. Nor the fact that he will always be my first love, my first mistake. And for that, I am deeply grateful to the Man above for giving me this experience. In life, there will always be regrets, changes and sacrifices. And when those things happen, you know that you've finally grown as a person.

Lyrics from "Goodbye to you" by Michelle Branch.