updates

23 June 2006, Changi S'pore.

Long haul flights are EVIL.

Singaporeans. *sigh* A backpacker motel in NZ with great view and customer service costs about NZ15. A transit hotel in Changi Airport with common shower facility and horrible customer service (unless you're a Caucasian) costs $125 per night.

I hate myself a little for saying this, but I like NZ so much more compared to Singapore and Malaysia. Sure, there will be racism, cold winter days and expensive prices in NZ.

Looking at the other side of things, racism only exists in 0.001% of the population (usually drunkards) while most of them who don't share the same skin colour treat you even better and are friendlier than those who share the same surname as you.

As for winter, cold weather doesn't seem that bad when you can shop and wear cool winter jackets you wouldn't get caught dead wearing in Malaysia. As far as I know, heaters are man's greatest invention. Cool friends and hot chocolate also help you get by those cold nights. Also, without winter, summer wouldn't be appreciated as much. No winter, no spring (the best season of all)!

Sure, things might be a tad bit expensive there. But a student with no degree can earn an average of $10.00 per hour, so do your maths. That's why I'm planning to stay there over the summer and earn some money.

But perhaps the main reason I chose to study there was because of the freedom it offered. People never judge you irrationally, you can basically walk the streets of Dunedin wearing pajamas or diapers and people will just look at you once and walk on.

I love how the city is just a 10 minute walk from where I live, and that I can just take a walk/jog/run around a park or the botanical gardens minutes away any time of the day, any day of the week. I love how people seem to mind more of their own business yet care so much for a stranger or friend during the right moment. I love how you can just start chatting to any stranger on the street and end up talking to that person for hours without judging or being judged. I love that there are over 10 nationalities in my church, and how I can hug and be hugged anytime without getting a weird look. Above all, I just love how somehow everything seemed much more simpler, out in the open, and sincere.

I don't care what some people say about "unpatriotic" people who leave their home country to live in another country because of the better pay or future. Don't make a judgement when you don't even know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes.

I'm not saying that I'm going to live in NZ permanently yet, but recent events had certainly made me think a lot about the future that I want to choose for myself.

***

25 June 2006, HOME (Kch)

Home at last.

Reached Kuching aroud 3pm, got my new sim card, and went straight to church for music practice. Syokkk. After that, went yumcha with Deb, Agfa, and Stef at aha! I thought I heard wrongly when the girls say they wanna go to a place called aha!, but oh well, there's even another new cafe called bla bla bla. -.-''' What happened after that was so typical of us four. We decided to head home early (at around 11pm), but when we got to the car, Deb realised that she'd left the headlights on. *slaps forehead* After countless attempts to revive the engine, Deb managed to drag her dad who was watching the Germany vs Sweden match there to help us. Eventually we got home half past midnite. Totally embarrassing yet memorable. hehe!

It's good to be back at SFEC, but I loathe church politics. Can't we all just get along, forgive and forget?! Anyway, youth meeting was replaced by a hip hop dance lesson given by John aka bunny. Totally hilarious and refreshing, but had to leave early to attend a farewell lunch for Agnes who's leaving for KL this Friday. Seems like everyone's leaving sooner or later. Meh.

Speaking of which, I'll be in KL for the next 3 days shopping! =)

Delayed departure

I should be on a plane to Singapore now. But no, I'm now stuck in an Auckland airport hotel, flying to Singapore tomorrow morning, therefore only reaching Kuching on Saturday afternoon.

Quite a bit of unfortunate events had happened lately. My laptop crashed last night, I got less than 2 hours of sleep, my airport shuttle was 40 minutes late, the flight from Dunedin to Auckland had to be delayed from 6.50am to almost 11.00am due to the icy runways, my connecting flight to Singapore had to be rescheduled to tomorrow morning, I am EXHAUSTED.

Yeap icy runways. This has to be the coldest winter yet. Only a few weeks into winter and the temperature this morning dropped to about -10 degrees. Ice covered the runways, the Dunedin airport had to close, and many flights were cancelled or delayed. That created much havoc and frustration at not only the airport, but on the roads as well. The icy roads caused many accidents all throughout Dunedin. Odd thing from all of this was: Still no snow. Weird weather indeed.

Anyway, Air New Zealand was kind enough to provide me free accommodation at a fancy hotel and free rides to and fro to the airport. Food is gooooood. I was expecting a single bedroom, but opened the door to find two beds, a queen and single bed. Muahahaha.

Till then, can't wait to get back to Kuching where warmth is always around.

Psychoagnosia

Ahh the syokness of finishing the last exam. =)

Psychology was so much harder than I expected. 125 multiple choice questions in 3 hours seemed easy before I stepped into the examination room, but every time I flipped a page, my mind thought of another "SHIT". Once I panicked, I totally messed up ventral simultagnosia, dorsal simultagnosia, associative agnosia, apperceptive agnosia, aphasia, apraxia yadda yaddi yadda those technical terms.

Anyway, glad that I won't have to study psychology anymore. Fun and insightful subject by the way. Some people think it's weird that I take up "interest subjects" like psyc111 this semester and musc110 paper next semester, but it's fun mah! heh.

Played Monopoly wif Rebec, Willy and Mr. Chinaman a while ago. haha! Mr. Chinaman went bankrupt, Mr. Indonesia won the match! teehee. I totally forgot how funny it is to play that game, especially with the right people.

Had a lot of free time lately, and so I spent it renovating my laptop desktop. No more geeky taskbar, no more icons, only a pretty objectdock and a few stylish yahoo widgets! =) More songs to download too. Present collection excluding cds and more at home: 3.2Gb. Very de wu liao, I know lah.

My current desktop. Changes very frequently.

Countdown to Kooochiang: Less than 3 days *big grin*

Anticipating

7 days to Kuching! =)

It's beginning to feel more and more like holidays now, though I still have another paper to go on Tuesday. Shucks. About a third of those in the halls have already went back to their hometowns by now. Envy envy. Those that are staying behind continue doing what they're best at- getting drunk, getting drunk, and getting drunk.

Still no snow yet. It better don't snow when I'm back in Malaysia, or else.

World Cup and late night studying is turning me into a nocturnal person. Woke up at 3.45am yesterday morning to catch the England vs Trinidad and Tobago match. Ah the syokness. A black friend of mine danced around when T&T finally scored a goal, and few seconds later when he found out that it was disallowed: "F the referee! F the referee!" Teehee. However, I spent most of the 90 minutes screaming at the sluggish England strikers, namely Stupid Crouch and Lousy Lampard. Teamwork virtually equals zero; England was lucky to get away with a 2-0 win.

Luckily retail therapy cheered me up. Mum called yesterday to confirm our flights to KL for shopping! The air tickets didn't come cheap, but I love her even more that she's willing to sacrifice her time to go shopping with me. Hehe. Might meet up with friends studying in KL if there's extra time for yum cha.

Second convo with ex.

"You have a parcel."
"Huh?"
"...You have a PARCEL waiting for you."
"Oh. Erm. Oh. Err. Thanks. "

Weird. I can check out the notice by myself anyway. And my friends would have told me that too. Definitely weird. Right?

Letting go

This time, I really am letting go. It's been almost 3 weeks since the break up, and yet only until just now had I really let it go. Thanks to a friend who told me exactly what I wanted and needed to hear. Thanks above all to God for giving me the sign that I asked for whether or not he is worth another try. So I guess the final verdict is in: There's just no use crying over spilt milk anymore.

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

Nothing is ever going to change the fact that he changed my live forever. Nor the fact that he will always be my first love, my first mistake. And for that, I am deeply grateful to the Man above for giving me this experience. In life, there will always be regrets, changes and sacrifices. And when those things happen, you know that you've finally grown as a person.

Lyrics from "Goodbye to you" by Michelle Branch. 

Dreaming of the days ahead

Now that the horrendous Chemistry 112 paper is over and done with, I can now:

`Join in with the world cup fanatics. My first match to watch: Brazil vs Croatia, 7am tomorrow. Early bird catches the match.

`Get my MeNZB immunisation. I thought I'd escaped from getting the 3 mandatory shots all young people below the age of 20 should get and escape the HORROR of injections, but no. When I received the email telling me that this is my last chance to get immunised "or else", I figured it was best to get it over and done with. My first shot is 11.45am tomorrow, pray for me! (I had a panic attack and nearly fainted during my BCG jab in secondary sch).

`Do some shopping after my injection tomorrow if I can still use my left hand to shop for clothes, that is.

`Finally get to watch XMen3 tomorrow night.

`Sulk about not getting heavy snow yet in Dunedin. Sulk that those in Christchurch got to experience 1 metre of snow! Not fair. Sulks again.

`Start packing. 10 days left before I head home!

`Start studying for my psychology paper. Soon.

`Blog more. Heh.

world-cup-o-mania

So I missed more than half of the English Premier League matches as I didn't have access (Sky TV) to live matches here in NZ. *sad face*

So I missed the England vs. Paraguay and Germany (!!!) vs. Costa Rica matches as Studholme Hall will only have Sky Sports 3 installed for us football (soccer as known here) maniacs later on today. *frown*

So I MIGHT miss the next few games coz I have Chemistry final exam on Tuesday. *bigger frown*

So I had to resort to getting live updates on the internet for the time being.

So even after my exams and the availability of sky sports channel, all the matches will be played during the wee hours in the morning, all because NZ is located at the other end of Germany.

So the local angmohs here will continue cheering on for their stupid rugby games. Some of them might not even know that the World Cup is on. And those who will stay awake and risk looking like panda bears in the morning would consist mostly of MALAYSIANS. And might I add, we love watching football matches and we sokong kao-kao England, Germany, Brazil or whatever your favourite teams are, even though Malaysia might never even qualify for the qualifiers round in the next century.

To all guys who watch football: SOME girls do enjoy football too. Enough of those "things you should not do during world cup season" bla bla email forwards. In fact, we might know more than you'd ever know.

Miroslav Klose is still the best striker. In the Germany line up, at least. Scoring 2 goals on his birthday, now that's a bonus. Staying cute, and maybe cuter since the last world cup, is definitely a huge bonus too.  

footloose. yeah, baby!

Desperately

This is what it takes to get people to pass in their leaving forms now. Yeap, unfortunately, my picture is up there too. SIA SOI LANG. And just few hours ago, 3 crazy musketeers had the decency to add a few lines and comments to it. My insides still hurt from laughing too much. But still, SIA SOI SIIII.

wanted Studs.

I've been thinking about staying back here over the summer holidays. I could get a summer job, take up a paper during summer program, and then save the money for an Aussie or Japanese trip during next June! Still not decided between Aus and Jap. Part of me wants to attend the fabulous Hillsong Conference next year, but part of me so desperately needs a getaway to Tokyo Disneyland. Wargh, so hard to decide. But one thing's for sure: shopping getaway at either Singapore or KL in a month's time. =)

Academically challenged

There goes my hope of getting an A for my biology paper. Shucks.

And I'm still irritated thinking back on the snide comments by Mr. I'm-made-in-China-with-a-fake-Kiwi-accent aka Mr. I'm-so-cool-coz-I-spat-beer-on-everyone aka Mr. I-had-an-angmoh-gf, did-u? Yeah you get the point. People like this shoudn't be allowed to stay in halls, especially in Studholme Hall.

At the mean time, I am in desperate need of retail therapy. Not that I lack winter clothing, but because it helps me feel better. *winks*

An awkward moment to remember

There are dates a girl will always remember. Her 18th birthday, first kiss, first date, first day at uni etc. Just few hours ago, I had my first face to face conversation with my EX. Yeap, 11 days after the breakup with no talking and acting totally like strangers around each other in the hall is painstaking. Did I mention how weird it is to just stop talking to someone you could tell everything to for the past 3 months?

There was a fire alarm again around 3pm. We all gathered outside the hall and waited for the firemen to check out which idiot did something to set off the fire alarm (Last time it went off as an angmoh used excessive hairspray). Then my friend and I climbed onto a higher area, sort of like a balcony outside my flat, to check out which guy had the least hair and the most dandruff.

Then, out of nowhere, the EX climbs on top too, and squatted right in front of me. Suddenly I had trouble breathing. Why is it that in these kind of situations, the other person always manages to look so much better? Argh. Anyway, he asked whether we knew what was going on as the firemen were checking out the 1st floor of my flat. And I just shrugged and said I DUNNO, and looked away. How pathetic is that?! I couldn't even manage to think of a lame or sarcastic joke. After 5 minutes of complete awkwardness, thank God my friend sensed it too and climbed down to join the others, followed by me, and then him.

I wanted so badly to know why he did that, what he was thinking. Heck, I don't even know what was I feeling or thinking then. But whatever happens, I'm definitely not getting back together with him, though I had a nightmare dream last night that it happened. In the dream, it felt so wrong that somehow it seemed right. But in reality, it just felt weird thinking about it.

What's even weird-ER than that was a convo we had few days ago. I told him that I couldn't bear the awkwardness between us any longer and hoped that we can remain as friends. And then I got the unexpected reply. Quote: "sigh! i cant seem to remember what happened for the past few months it seems.. nothing for me to feel awkward about I suppose. ;)" WTF??? Either he faked an amnesia or he just succeeded in making a forgetting-the-bad-memories lotion and will receive the nobel prize soon for "Bringing joy to the brokenhearted". Either way, he's a jerk for denying what we had even though it didn't work out for the better.

Maybe I am secretly wishing that he gets back with his previous ex whom he'd been seeing for 4 freaking years. Maybe I'm wishing that if it happens, I'll feel less guilty and less like the evil third person for breaking them up at the first place. Am I?

Funny thing is, I had this random thought of asking him to watch the movie "The break-up", since we never got around to watch XMenIII together. Yea, bad idea, I know.

Mum and dad seem to be overjoyed that it didn't work out. They're even trying to secretly matchmake me with a friend from church back home. And I have a feeling they've been planning it for years even before I came here. Sneaky, eh? Why am I so sure of this?

[on the phone, 2 Sundays ago]

Mum: Hey girl, did you know that XXX is back in Kuching oredi?
Me: Erm yea...
Mum: I told him you were coming back during that time too! [I sense her announcing it with glee]
Me: ...
Mum: ...and he said, "Really? I didn't know tweety was coming back during June..." WOW, he's still calling u tweety ar? Must mean something hor...
Me: Haiya mummy, nothing la... Everyone in church calls me that mar...
Mum: Yea meh? Oh do you know, he's still worship leading in church! So helpful oh! Wait wait, ur dad wants to talk to you
Dad: You excited about coming back? (before I can answer that...) XXX is back in Kuching! Do you know that?

Is matchmaking even LEGAL now?

Sleeting in Dunedin

It's just officially 4 days into winter and it snowed! Well, the right technical term here is sleeting, since the snow was barely 1 inch deep and it came with rain. But who cares?!

It was around 10pm, and everyone was busy studying for our exams. When we heard about it, we immediately ran out to greet the snoooooow. I was still in jandals by the way. We got out into Clyde Street, heaps of people were already there.

Heart made of ice

"Say snow!"

As seen in this pic, Mr Sam Brown is busy using the dish washing tray to ski, the attempt was clearly unsuccessful but entertaining nonetheless.

Not much snow fight possible as the snow wasn't deep enough, but it certainly gave us something to look forward to in the next few weeks!

Back to blogspot

Finally, after 6 months blogging in multiply, I came back to blogspot. Why the change? Well, why not?

Since the last time I blogged here, many things have happened. I've been into and out of a relationship, fell in love and got my heart broken, changed university and town, changed my circle of friends, changed a church, gone through a traumatic experience, just to mention a few. So, a change now would be appropriate.

After all the new things we experience in life, it's always good and comforting to go back to where it all started. Perhaps we're brought up in an environment that teaches us that changes are always for the better, and maybe that's how we always manage to get hurt with those kind of high expectations. So one of my new half-year resolution is to live each day as it is, not expecting much from any situation. That way, a disappointment wouldn't seem like a big one; and a small achievement would seem like a gift from heaven.

"Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great." Orison Swett Marden

Anyway, been busy studying as always. First semester exams start on 9th and ends on 20th June. Good thing there's something to look forward after that: I'm going back to my absolutely fabulous hometown- Kuching for 2 weeks. heh. Even my parents are now honeymooning holiday-ing in Bangkok. But for now, study awaits me. *frowns*