Can't hate you

Maybe it's time to do the I-HATE-YOU list.

Not that I'm still holding grudges against you or wishing I have never met you before. But yeah, you deserve this.


I hated that you have the same name as my favourite singer a few years back.

I hated that you got to be my first.

I hated how you smoked so much and lied to me about it.

I hated how you always take me back into your arms after a fight.

I hated how I failed to have self control whenever I'm near you.

I hated seeing you at uni with some other girl, pitying her yet unable to do anything.

I hated how you could tell me the world is flat and I'd still believe you.

I hated how you could always tell if I'm lying.

I hated how happy you made me in those 2 months, and how I really thought I was loved by you.

I hated how insecure you made me feel after all that, and how I would cry so much everytime I hear a song that reminded me of us.

I hated that you told me I have the sweetest voice you've ever heard, and how I fell for all your sweet talk.

I hated that you would never know that I found out about you cheating on me, and that I would never have the courage to confront you.

I hated how you promised me the future you painted in my mind- a beautiful one.

I hated how much I had to act like nothing is wrong and laugh when all I wanted to do was to cry myself to sleep.

I hate the fact that I would forever remember you as a mistake I should never make in the first place.

Most of all, I hate the fact that as much as I want to hate you, I can't bring myself to do it.