not exactly a time to relax

It's finally time for a short holiday after the first phase of SPM. The second phase will resume on 22 Nov, after Raya celebration. That's when the tough subjects will be tested, namely Physics, Chem, and Bio. But I'm definitely glad that 5 subjects are over, and I've only have to sit for the remaining 6 subjects.

Though it's holiday season now, I can barely feel the excitement of it this time. Agfa is back, but I doubt that I would have the time to hang out with her. In short, I feel pathetic. Staying at home all day, studying and studying really has taken its toll on me. haha. After all this, on the afternoon of 3 Dec, I'd look forward to throw all my books, tension, and worries away. But for only a short while. Why? Coz waiting for me after SPM are many events, not boring though - Youth camp, National Service, and getting ready to head overseas for further studies. Yikes.

So basically, there isn't enough time for anyone to rest in this real life. Everything is fast-moving, and those who cannot take it will be left out. haha.

I chatted more to Ron two days ago, and he shared some personal things with me. I was really shocked that he was so open about that topic and blurted out everything to me just like that. So I'm stumped about how I should give him the proper advice to settle his 'problem'. I've tried once, but it seems like he's immune to it. Should I ask other people for 2nd opinion, or not make a big fuss out of this? I understand that almost every teenage guy experiences this problem, though they don't tell people about it, but somehow, I feel like a big sister and want so desperately to help him. Lord, please tell me what should I do...

I've been lazy to blog, so I won't blog as frequently as before. Things change, and so have my priorities.

genuine friendship

About half an hour ago, I received a phone call from someone I'd least expected. Carolyn. She called to wish me all the best for SPM. Wow...I was pretty touched that she took the effort to call all the way from KL just to wish me good luck. This shows me that no matter how small a deed might seem, it can do big things to people. So, I really thank her and God for giving me more inspiration to do better in SPM. It's truly like a message sent from above...

cherishing those beautiful memories

Surfed through a friend's blog, and decided to do one of my own 'rEfLEctIOns'. haha. This year has certainly been one of my most interesting years, although next year would be even better (with NS and NZ...no pun intended)...

I miss that moment when...

• SFEC youth become NOT boring anymore...yay!

• had and still have a silly crush on XXX

• told certain people (you know who you are) about my crush and ran to the bathroom, locked myself up, and laughed until I almost cried

• started out this blog and ditched blurty

• watched Ju-on with Ching...how she grabbed my hand so hard it hurts...how I had the creeps while taking showers for a week after that...and how I laughed (really loud) when everyone else was screaming their heads off

• going to Planetshakers concert... and took pictures with cute guys from Aussie

• my b-dae celebration at school...when my friends chiah me with pizza and made my soooo touched

• got to know about being selected for NS while shopping at KL...and partially ruined my mood

• practising for months for "Shout Your Fame"...and performing during Festival of Praise

• after that, celebrating at Kch Festival for 2 consecutive nites

• laughing at Vyner when he broke his guitar and badminton strings many times

• missed the school bus and ended up chasing it all the way to St. Thom...and getting embarassed later on

• sitting through many co-operative meetings...listening to dear ah Bong making announcements

• church camp at Santubong... sabo-ing Richard and John with cake, icing, flour, and eggs

• getting scold by the guard, who complained that we made too much noise

• cleaning up the stinky mess

• creating nicknames for our (Jess, Kel, and I) crushes, laughed like mad... (the nicknames were Dwraf, Merman, and Pinocchio...haha)

• doing a human wheel-barrow with Vyner at ISCF camp...getting my whole face red like a tomato

• forced to do an 'exotic catwalk' during the camp

• watching Esther doing her kind of exotic catwalk

• Agfa leaving for KL...her crying at the airport

• me crying at the airport

• her and I talking on the phone once a week...talking basically crap

• taking part in co-operative quiz...ended up in second place for the second time...

• going to Sun concert...though it sucked, went to Point 1 for ABC special, taking funny pictures, and went home past midnite

• watching Harry Potter 3, not satisfied with the ending...thinking that I'd be a better director than who-was-it-again?

• getting my hair cut short...really short

• seeing the expression on my friends' faces when they saw my hair

• took off my braces =)

• whole day of playing games at the arcade, trying archering and did gud at it...during outing with SFEC youths

• searching for Jake Gyllenhaal on the net after watching The Day After Tomorrow

• farewell party for Deb...had steamboat dinner... Stef and I blowing up clams...watching Ik Sung eating like a king kong

• Gerald begging for Jul's number...and then mine...

• Kevin confessing about his relationship with Deb... seeing his face get red... seeing his father's expression

• attending the drama workshop, acting as a clown with a 6-foot Englishman...with his girlfriend staring at us

• countless times I stared at the computer screen, wishing his nick will just pop up and we could chat for hours...

• and many more events too beautiful to type out :~)

Time passed very very fast...too fast for you to sit there and dream about life. So what I want to do next year is live my life to the fullest and treasure every second possible. Not saying WHY but instead, WHY NOT? hehe~

SPM...here i come

Yesterday~

The house phone line just went dead. Dead, as in no dialtone at all. Hmm, quite weird. It's like someone cut off the line in those scary movies when you most needed the phone and the serial killer is just behind you. So the time I post this is not the time I wrote this. Ok, enough crap~

So I'm really feeling crappy right now. I don't feel like studying, I don't feel like revising. What is wrong with me anyway? It's SPM tomorrow, for Pete's sake. The world has officially gone topsy-turvy. Sheesh. I've tried it all, singing in the bathroom, going for a walk, to lazing in front of the tv for a few hours watching mtv all day. But still no effect on me. Bleh.

Anyways, mum and I went to the education agent again today, talked more about my future studies. Blah blah. I asked her about staying in Residential Halls, which is more fun and activity-filled. But the price is also much higher than homestay. But hey, it's gonna be entirely uni and hall life. Must be interesting. Plus, I can choose from 4 great halls, not to mention almost all halls come with single bedrooms, DVD and movie room (woah...), study room, personal computer, free phone line, free laundry etc. So it offers everything and much more for about NZ dollar 200++ a week. *gasp* Yeah, a week I said. Converted to M'sian ringgit, that's about 400 bucks a week, over a thousand per month, just for accomodation. Winter clothes cost more then NZ 500. I really do feel pity for my parents.

Not being at school on Monday mornings is very weird. People always say that you won't miss school until you've really stopped going there. No wonder I'm so edgy all day. The whole of my body itch, though not literally. Now I can't even phone Kel or Jess because there's no line!!! Ahhhh...this is so pathetic. What to do now...what to do now.... Boredom is killing me now. Ughhhh. Damn the Telekom people. Stupid idiots.

Today~

Yay...1st day of SPM is already over. Surprisingly, both Chinese papers weren't that hard as I thought it'd be. One of the essays is actually a model esaay I had looked through a loooong time ago. So you know the rest of the story. I did my best, now just have to pray for the examiner to give me an A. haha.

Things get weird during the exam season. Last night, I said my prayer, had my quiet time, and off the lights at around 11.30 pm. After almost 2 hours of turning around, I still couldn't sleep. Sheesh, I was so frustrated then, I was really worried that I'd be groggy or tired and couldn't write the essays. So after that, I went to my parents' room and slept there. Thank God I finally rest all my thoughts and had at least four hours of sleep. There's no test tomorrow, doing revision on Add Mx. Yeah...that's one of my fav papers to sit for, but dunno why.

decisions decisions...

I've gone crazy. Well, maybe just temporarily. While watching my favourite Simpsons horror show, suddenly I just got up, switched off the tv (my precious...) and told my mum that I wanted to go for a jog at Stutong Park. And so we jogged and walked for an *astounding* distance of 3 kilometers in less than 1 hour. It was fun and relaxing, in a weird way, pretty nice to just sniff some fresh air (even though there's traffic everywhere), and make myself sweat. Talk about pre-NS training. Hmphh. My target next time is to jog for 5 rounds (1 round = 1 km)... and hope that I won't give up in the middle of it. Blueks.

The sermon by Uncle Dennis was really...how should I put it... precise and very true. Recap: Judgement is not all about punishment. There are rewards too awaiting those who deserves them. And whatever thing you do now, no matter how small you might say it is, is recorded and will be presented on the judgement day. On that very day, there will be no appeals, no more second chances. The decision will be FINAL. And He who is your brother, your comforter, your friend, will also be a judge. So that's about it.

I'm still blur about what to do with further studies next year. Oh sheesh. I thought I had decided on foundation studies in University of Canterbury, but Rebecca had to call all the way from NZ and tell me that if I want to study biological sciences, Uni of Otago will be better. Sucky, isn't it? Now what? And residential halls are not too bad either, but maybe the closing date for enrolment is already over. sigh sigh. Well, maybe I should really just stick to Homestay. Whateva.